Figment of Your Imagination
by Late-Sleeper-sama
Summary: Yuki came back home to Japan and Shuichi have a new lover. Both of them are acting like old buddies but Yuki feel that there is something wrong with their whole situation. YuShu OCShu
1. Chapter 1

**Figment of Your Imagination**

**By: Late-Sleeper**

**

* * *

Disclaimer: Honestly I don't own a thing. I wish I have…but I don't ((sigh))**

**Note: **This is a 2 chapters story…

* * *

"_Shuichi, it's been two years…you should go on with your life. Look at yourself…"_

"…"

"_Shuichi…he's not the only person in the world…he's not the only person that could love you…I'm here. You know I love you."_

"…"

"_Shuichi…can't you just give me a chance?"_

"_..Kazuya…it's not that easy…"_

"_I know…but I can try, right? Am I that hard to love?"_

"_Kazuya…"_

"…"

"_..your not…your not that hard to love…I'd try…maybe it's the best I could do…maybe it's what Yuki wants.."_

"_No, Shuichi. It's not what he wants, it's about the best thing for you."_

"_Thank you…for being there for me…for this past two years…"_

* * *

oOoOoOo

"Eiri-san, how are you doing? Are you coming back to Japan? Your father terribly misses you."

"Fuck the sweet talk Tohma. You know I still have a contract here."

"But it's almost three years…haven't you settled _what ever it is you want to settle_?"

"…"

"Eiri?"

"How's the brat?"

"Shindou-san? Well he's been doing quite well these past few months."

"oh."

"Why the sudden interest?"

"None of your fucking business."

I heard Tohma's silent chuckle on the other line. I wanted to strangle the smaller man but unfortunately he's miles away. 'When I get back…I gonna fucking kill him, when I get back…'

"Eiri…seriously you must come home."

'home'

Is there such a word in my life. I wonder? The only home I could call is the one I hastily left… the one where Shuichi…and I both lived. Why did I left again?

'sick'

Yes…that's right, I was sick that's why I left. Physically sick, mentally sick, spiritually sick…sick of my past. Sick of my self. I came back here to sort my life…but I felt still mess up.

"Eiri! Eiri!"

I was suddenly snapped back to reality. I wanted to smack myself for spacing out…it's bad to space out when you are talking to a very manipulative, sly, and sadistic man like Tohma.

"What?"

"Someone wants to talk to you. Hear he's all yours."

"Hey…who…"

I heard a faint shuffling then a voice I'd been dreading to hear.

"Yuki…when are you coming home? You must come home…Mika is scaring all of us here at NG. She's like, _"Get my brother's ass here or I swear to hell all of you will have a coffin for you to rest the next morning" _or_ "You'll going to see your sorry-excuse-for-a-career down the drain.". _She's going nuts! She even threaten Sakuma-san…She's blaming everyone…I don't wanna be on the janitor's position now…she's scolding him about something but we all know that she's bending her anger n the poor man…the other day…"

I was shocked to hear the familiar voice. I didn't know why but hearing Shuichi's voice once more somehow has a soothing effect on me. 'He never change…'

"…and the other time she dragged me on the street on my ear…"

"Shut up brat! You're giving me a headache."

"Sorry Yuki. So when are you coming home?"

"Maybe in a week or so."

"Really that's great! I'd gonna take you to the new sushi bar here. It's the best Yuki. They also have a promo where you could have a free meal if you can eat a whole platter of sushi in ten minutes. Hiro won by the way…but I know he cheated…"

"…"

"You could take some date if you want. I saw you on T.V. the other day. Damn! The girl beside you was hot."

"Sandra. She's just an easy fuck." Damn! Did I just say that? To Shuichi?

"Oh. How mean Yuki. But don't worry there are lots of girls here that would want to get in your pants. But seriously Yuki you must settle for one…you must not make girls cry. Remember Karma would get to you sooner or later."

"…" What's with Shuichi?

"I also want you to meet my boyfriend. He's a brain surgeon…he's quite busy but I think he can squeeze some time to meet you."

What the fuck! So it's a new love. So the reason he's going well is because he has forgotten me, Yuki Eiri. Shindou Shuichi has found new love.

I felt a squirming feeling on my stomach but ignored it all the same. In a few days I'll be coming to Japan…I'm going to see my pink…no…my ex-pink lover.

"Yuki! Seguchi-san is getting impatient…I better hang up now..bye…see you soon."

'See you soon'

* * *

oOoOoOo

"So the trick with Shindou-kun work, huh?"

'Damn you Tohma.' "I'm getting bored so I decided to come home."

"Yes you are."

Tohma smiled at me like a cat that just ate a canary. I always feel shivers run down my spine every time I see that smile. I knew something was up but I can't put a finger on it. But definitely something was up and I'm gonna find out even if I kill someone.

"YUUUUUUKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

A pink fur ball has suddenly launched itself on me that I landed on my butt. 'someone's gonna pay for this.'

"I miss you! Kazuya couldn't come but he said he's anxious to see you."

I looked directly at Shuichi's eyes. The pink brat is sitting on my lap with that puppy dog-pleading look plastered all over his face. 'still the same brat I left a few years ago...'

"Come on Shindou-kun, Eiri-san must be dead tried after the trip."

"Hai! Sorry Yuki, I'm just excited to see you again."

Shuichi gingerly got off my lap and stood up brushing off the unseen dust on his lap. He held a hand to me but being a very pride person I ignored it as I stood by myself. When I'm on my feet I looked at Shuichi for awhile and couldn't help but raised an eyebrow at him.

The brat was indeed doing well. His cheeks are in tinge of pink and his skin is glowing, an indication that he's blooming…

All because of love.

Shuichi grin at me when he caught me looking at him.

"Oi brat? I hope you didn't burnt down my apartment…if you do I'll gonna ki.."

"Mou…Yuki…meanie. Of course I didn't burn your apartment. I even hired cleaners to clean it once in a while…You know the dust bunny might eat your sofa when you don't clean your house…"

"oh."

"Don't worry Yuki your apartment is the same as you left it. But if something is out of order…that's not my fault. Tatsuha sometimes crashed in there."

"…so where do you live now?"

"oh…yeah I haven't told you. We lived a few blocks near NG and 40 minutes away from Kazuya's work. Kazuya and I just moved in there a few months ago."

I don't know why but, hearing Shuichi moved in with someone made me feel shot of electricity run down my body. Maybe I just couldn't believe that Shuichi, the boy who promised me everything, kissed the path I walked on, has finally moved on with his life. Finally found someone who would appreciate his worth.

While me….

Still searching for the thing…called

"Peace of mind".

"What? What did you say Yuki?"

Damn! I have said it aloud.

"Nothing Baka. About the thing about touring me…is there a place I could find some beautiful girls I could screw?"

"So rude. Yuki, you should refer girls with some respe…"

"Baka. Baka. I know that already."

* * *

oOoOoOo

"Oi, Baka? Why are you always hanging around my apartment? Don't you have a boyfriend or band to attend to?"

I glanced at Shuichi from the corner of my eye who was sitting beside me on the sofa. It's been week now since I got back and since then I never missed Shuichi's presence in my apartment.

I poured my share of coffee on my mug purposely avoiding Shuichi's gaze. I know the brat would pull that puppy-dog-eye trick on me again. That trick was the sole reason I end up having Shuichi every single day

'Damn I hate that trick!'

I heard Shuichi whine and I bet he's pouting right about now. I grin at that thought. I finally won this time.

"Mou…Yukiiii, don't you want me here?"

I turn around to face him.

"No." Another point for Yuki Eiri. Shindou Shuichi, zero.

"Meanie."

I had to smirk at that.

"Humor me brat, what really happened? You've been here every single day. Did Seguchi finally cracked his head of his and came to his senses that the vocalist of Badluck doesn't really worth the money and decided to throw you out? Or did the boyfriend of yours decided to ditch you for…let say a bustier woman?"

Ah sarcasm can't live without it.

I lean on the table and waited for his dumb answer and maybe some whining. The brat really is a good entertainment for a bored author like me.

"Seguchi-san gave us two months vacation. Hiro's spending some quality time with his brother and making some really cool tunes with his guitar. Fujisaki is doing some stuff for the next album so he doesn't want me hanging around the place where he works. That spoiled brat doesn't even know seniority."

I couldn't stop a chuckle at that comment. Talk about the kettle calling the pot black.

"Sakano-san's freaking out again. K-san is currently cleaning all his magnums so it is wise to keep away from him if you want to live till your thirty."

I sipped my coffee but didn't avert my gaze on Shuichi who's still blabbering nonstop.

"…dad's at work, mom is busy tidying the house. Maiko had a lame excuse of doing something on their club. That witch doesn't even care that, me, her cutest brother is going to spend sometime with her. Witch! Then Kazuya was suddenly called to do an operation …and he always has some sort of meeting and the like….I don't know what he do with his money…he's always working nonstop. "

Ah! The work issue. The main culprit in most ruined relationship.

"So you see Yuki, everyone I know is working. You're the only one I know who stay at home every day."

Geez, is the brat calling me a lazy bum?

"…beside you're the only one I could talk to about my love life."

And now I'm a gay expert. First a lazy ass, now a gay expert.

"As far as I know I'm an author and I work here."

I watched as a shy smile and a blush grace Shuichi's face.

Damn that smile…and that blush.

Damn this whole fucking set-up!

What's wrong with this picture?

Here I am _casually_ talking to my **ex-lover** about life and relationship like **old friends**.

_FRIENDS._

Damn! This is freaking weird.

"So Yuki how's Michiru? I knew that girl got the hots for you."

"Every girl wants a piece of me."

See isn't this weird.

I gave a loud sigh. This feels like some kind of twilight zone.

"Brat…I have a fuck in about an hour, so if you don't wanna be killed get out of my house."

I'm tired with this odd conversation so I pretended to get a knife. I heard Shuichi giggled and scram off my counter. I gave him a dirty look to add some effects, make him see I'm deadly serious about killing him. I licked the knife and stare dangerously at him.

He walked towards the door so I thought he was really leaving so I let down my guard and gave a big sigh of relief as I turn around to put the knife down on the shelf. I suddenly felt something warm against me. I become paralyze for a few seconds so I hadn't really reacted to the situation.

My brain only registered what was happening when I felt a hot breath on my left ear.

"I want to hear all the details tomorrow."

The damn brat had he nerve to whisper to my ear.

Before I smacked him on the head Shuichi has moved a feet away from me. He smiled at me seductively and winked.

Damn perverted brat.

I swear I'm gonna kill that brat if he pull another stunt like that.

Damn. Why am I even shaking? Maybe from anger?

I can't believe I'm still standing here on my kitchen stupefied like a dork my left hand covering my left irritated ear.

I'm still shaking. My knees feel like jelly.

* * *

oOoOoOo

"So how's Miki? Is she hot on bed or what?"

"She's as cold as a frozen delicacy I buy on the market. I feel like I'm fucking a dead meat or something."

Shuichi had fallen from the sofa laughing his heart out. I felt vein popped out my temple.

"Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Don't tell me you left her _unsatisfied_?"

I wanted to smack him on the head but of course I play it cool. I don't want to salvage my reputation.

"My hand is way better than her."

How's that for a comeback?

"You're such an ass you know that?

I looked down at Shuichi making sure no expression evident on my handsome face. He's sitting on the floor, Indian style. His pouting at me at the comment I made earlier.

"Not my fault that all the girls you introduce to me all turn out to be a frigid, nagger, clingy, masochist or just plain virgin."

I puffed a smoke. He pouted some more. I'm such a handsome kick-ass bastard.

It went completely silent for a whole five minutes. I need to break this eerie silence.

"Hey! Aren't you supposed to be with your boyfriend? What is he again?"

Shuichi suddenly perked up.

"He's a brain surgeon."

"Are you sure he's really your boyfriend?"

"huh?"

"You know, you being crazy and all. Haven't he operated on you yet? To find out if you really have a brain or what?"

Ok, sarcasm runs down my vein.

"Meanie." Shuichi pouted. How more can he pout?

I love teasing him about his boyfriend's work. They really suit each other.

They're perfect together.

Together.

Every time I think of Shuichi and his boyfriend – what his name again? Ah yes, Kazuya – I feel an electrifying circuit run down my body. Why? I don't know.

I'm ok with the thought of Shuichi having another love.

So why?

Maybe…somewhere within me can't get over the fact that Shuichi had fallen for somebody other than me.

Of course sometimes I feel jealous whenever he would mention his name.

But it's normal right.

Right?

He was once mine so it's normal to feel that way.

Damn! I need to get laid.

I light another cigarette. I heard Shuichi groan indicating that he was bored.

That triggers me to ask the most stupid question ever.

"Is it worth it?"

I don't know why the hell I ask that.

Hell! I don't even know if he understands it. I hope he would just let it pass or hadn't heard it. I'm afraid that he would ask what I mean because…I really don't know what I mean. It just pop out of my mind.

"You know I had asked that a million times…"

I raised an eyebrow. He heard it and he knew what I mean. I had to hand it to the kid. The kid has a brain after all.

"…but every time I end up sleeping on the couch whenever I wait for him but only to wake up in our room and his face is the first thing I'd see. I'd always wake up with him gently rubbing my belly or combing my hair with his hand as he patiently waits for me to open my eyes. When I finally opened my eyes he'd kissed me gently on lips and down to my throat as he mumbled the word '_mine_'…"

I feel a knot on my stomach.

_Mine_. Possessive bastard.

"…and every time he does that I forgave him."

I feel funny inside again. Ha! The sappiness of these all. I might use it on my next novel.

Damn! My stomach feels funny. I shouldn't have eaten that chilidog.

"…whenever I feel the stressed building up he would be there circling his arms around my waist and he would kiss me on the cheek and like miracle I would end up s cool as a cucumber."

Damn Stomach! Now it affected my heart. I'm think I gonna have a fever or something. I really funny inside.

"I know his not the best boy friend in the world but I know he's trying to. So I guess its enough for me. It's all worth it."

Honestly I didn't expect his answer to be like this…Damn! I don't even expect an answer…but somehow I know in my heart that's the only answer fitted to the question.

I don't know how to react. I can't think of a sarcastic comment.

I'm kinda at lost at the moment. I'm confused.

Then something in me snaps.

Damn! Damn! Damn! What's the matter with me? I feel like punching someone. I'm getting frustrated for nothing. I feel my temper rises.

I need a drink.

I stood up from where I'm sitting and had the fault of looking at him.

And my heart began beating faster. I swear I could hear it beat. I could feel the pulse on my neck. I just hope it doesn't burst or something.

My heart is beating like crazy and somehow it hurts.

I feel suffocated.

I want to do something. I want to scream. I want punch someone…

I'm going nuts.

I need to get out of here. I need to…

"…and you know what Yuki…he told me he wants to settle down."

I definitely want to punch someone.

"Baka."

I sat down again. Damn I'm getting really mad now.

He looked at me with bewilderment. Ha! I finally snapped him from his little fantasy of his.

"Damn brat! Do you think it would work out? You rarely see each other, what would you think it would make any difference if you marry him?"

Hmm…this is calming me down. I didn't know being a bastard could calm me down.

I could see Shuichi's pout at that then started making that serious face of his. Maybe he's pondering what I've said.

This is really calming me down.

"What about your job? Did you forget that your job would require you to go on tour for days?"

Ha! Sarcasm. It calms you down. Try it, it works.

"It wouldn't work. It's not a fairy tale damn brat."

The two of them wouldn't work.

It wouldn't work.

I look at him again. I hate to burst his bubbles but the damn brat needs to get his feet on the ground.

He'd just get hurt if this carries on.

"I don't want you to get hurt in the end."

Somehow I knew I really mean what I said but a part of me is screaming something…

I really don't understand myself anymore…Shuichi always made me feel like this.

I don't like not being in control, not knowing where I stand. I don't like being in the dark.

My head hurts. My heart keeps thumping. My heart is racing again. It's beating faster and then slower…then faster again. I just want it tore out of my chest.

My stomach has butterflies flying around. I just hope it just indigestion.

I felt a pair of arms circle around my waist and his face on my chest. I found myself still seated on the couch while Shuichi is still kneeling on the floor arms wrap around me. He's between my legs, head resting on my chest…if the situation wasn't this bizarre I could swear I could have a hard on.

Suddenly I feel warm inside. It's been a while since I last felt this warm.

So warm…and loved.

I put my hand on top of his pink fur he call hair. I wanted to ask him something. Maybe he knew the answers to all my questions I could never answer…beside he's the one who ignited this question on my mind from the start.

He's the sole reason I'm confused. The reason I feel weak inside.

He's the one whose face I see every time I go to sleep or drifted on to my day dream.

Maybe he knows why I feel like this whenever he's around. Why I feel out of control. Why I'm not myself when I'm with him.

I want to ask him but before I could open my lips I found his lips already on mine and in a blink of an eye it was gone.

He smiled at me and mumbled '_thanks_'.

Before I could ask what for, he was already walking out the door leaving me sitting on my couch confused as I gently touch my lips,

How could a simple kiss turn your whole world upside down then up again. Straightening the crooked path; the wrong into right.

How a simple brush of his lips with mine could answer all the questions I've been seeking.

I feel stupid all of a sudden. I've left him for almost three years to seek the meaning of my life, wasting my money, energy and time for the answer that this simple kiss has solve. A simple kiss! Damn!

Maybe it wasn't just the kiss…maybe the thought of losing him…permanently…made me realize that he is the whole meaning of my life. I can't believe that he was standing so close to me…the meaning of my life.

Fuck! I'm author of novel about love for Christ sake, how could I not see the sign…now I'm losing him.

Losing him…

FUCK!

"Eiri-san!"

I'm must be crazy thinking about Shuichi that now I'm hearing voices.

"Eiri-san!"

"huh?"

I look up only to come face to face with my sadistic and manipulative brother in law. What the hell is he doing here anyway? And what time is it?

"Eiri-san. Shindou-kun has…"

"WHAT HAPPEN TO THE DAMN BRAT!"

**:TBC:**


	2. Chapter 2

**Figment of Your Imagination**

**By: Late-Sleeper**

* * *

"WHAT HAPPEN TO THE DAMN BRAT!"

I grabbed on to Tohma's coat as I glared at him. He looked down at me. He's acting pretty weird. Something is up. I know it because he's not wearing that trade mark smile of his. Something is definitely wrong.

"Shindou-kun is…"

"Fuck! Cut the drama and just tell me what the hell happen to _my_ brat."

He took my hands off his coat and gently walked away from me. Damn! I'm gonna kill that fucking bastard. I was up on my feet when I heard Tohma push the button of my message recorder. Shuichi's sweet voice flowed throughout the room.

"Yuki… I thought about what you've said. I know it wouldn't work out between us…you know with our work…"

I feel my heart leap a bit.

"…I've talked to Kazuya and we decided to work it out…"

My heart stops beating. This can't be happening.

"…Kazuya and I both decided to leave our job. I know it's quite crazy but…he'll try to find a les hectic job in some hospital or try some business with the money he earned from all these years of working non-stop. We could make it somehow…I know…as long as we're together I know we'll survive…"

I want to make it stop. I want to slam the damn thing. I want it…I want…I want him…

"…I know K-san would gonna kill me for ditching my career and all. I hate to face Hiro's wrath…so…we'll be leaving for the state or maybe we'll go to Europe or somewhere far. Somewhere they couldn't track us down…I know K-san could be a damn bloodhound sometimes so…"

Yes, somewhere far. Somewhere where I couldn't see you. He'd gonna take _my_ Shuichi away…

"…I'd be sending you my wedding pictures but don't let K-san know about it, ok? I just wish that all of you could come to my wedding but…_sigh_…"

"…"

I just stared at Seguchi.

"…and Yuki thanks for the advice…goodbye."

_Goodbye_. It's so final.

No it can't be.

I want to see him again. And the next day…and the next…I want him near me.

I rush towards the door. I could feel Seguchi hot on my heel.

"Eiri, matte! There's something you need to know about Shindou-kun…" Tohma run as fast as he could to catch up with me, his favorite brother-in-law who's know heading towards his black car.

"…Shindou-kun…nothing is true. Kazuya doesn't exist!"

I felt everything stopped moving. I felt my whole body paralyze, my left hand leaning on the car's door

'…_doesn't exist_.' What the hell that supposed to mean? Is the brat putting all this up to make me jealous?'

As if for the longest time Tohma had finally caught up with me. I could hear his heavy pant and huff. "What do you mean he doesn't exist? Is the brat playing a trick on me?"

He was still panting very hard but he instantly looks up at me as I ask him. I still can't believe that the big boss of NG is still a puppy to my every whine and wishes. "No Eiri-san, Shindou-kun is not lying to you…"

Tohma straightened up and brush his coat from the invisible dust he only could see. I look puzzled at his answer, he could sense it to. "…as far as he's concern, Kazuya is real. Eiri-san Kazuya, Kazuya is just Shindou-kun's hallucination."

What the fucking hell was that?

I grabbed by bastard brother-in-law by the collar. I shook him from a bit. I glare straight to his shock eyes. "Explain."

I drop him down unceremoniously to the floor. I pulled a cigarette from my pocket and light it. I glare at Tohma. I could sense him shivering from my intense glare. Damn he should be.

"Shindou-kun has a mental disorder or some sort. Nakano-kun suspected of it first when Shindou-kun said he got a new boyfriend. We didn't want to ruin his career by confining him in a medical institution …"

I felt a nerve twitch on my temple. Business first he says…Fucking Tohma! Doesn't he know that he might endanger someone's life…_my_ Shuichi's life.

"…we thought that bringing you back here would cure him. We all hope you could cure him…'cause you're the cause of it all."

Ashes from my cigarette had suddenly fallen in slow motion from my cigarette still clamp on my lips.

I'm the cause?

"We really thought he was cured when you came back because he no longer talks about the two of them. I never knew that it was this serious…that he's really have deep feelings for that gu…"

I punch him on the cheeks before he could continue on what he was saying. I can't handle it. I can't handle the truth.

* * *

oOoOoOo

Everything is a blur. I can't remember the details after I punched Tohma in the face or how I get here on this apartment. All I know is that on the other side of this door is Shuichi. The only thing that is separating me and Shuichi is this damn door.

I twisted the knob…I don't know why I didn't knock or how I knew that it's not lock is beyond me. All I know is that everything I'll do now is would be right.

Right for me, right for Shuichi. Nothing could go wrong from now on.

I stare at the ajar door leading to room, must be his bedroom. I saw Shuichi packing his clothes inside. I could see his mouth moving like he's talking to someone. I don't know who. I can't see who it was. I walk briskly towards him…towards them.

But I found no one. It's just Shuichi. No one else.

"Yuki."

Shuichi look up at me with wide eye. "Yuki..waht are you doing here? Oh…I want you to meet Kazuya…"

I felt something hot rolled down my cheeks and I found myself clutching Shuichi's lithe body hard against my own. I could hear him ask 'what's happening' as I find myself chanting to him 'everything would be fine from now on.'

I feel Shuichi's body tense and as I look over my shoulder two men hustle towards us…towards Shuichi. As the two guys pass my field of vision I saw Tohma and Hiro standing at the door with sorrowful expression.

A yelp from Shuichi snaps me from the trance I was in. The two men were literally dragging Shuichi off my hold. I wanted to growl at them but I know this is the right thing to do. "YUKIIIIIIIII!KAZUYA HELP ME PLEASE!"

I can't take it. I don't want to hear it.

"KAZUYA!KAZUYA HELP ME PLEASE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME? KAZUYAAAAAAAAA!"

I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear that name again.

Why didn't he yell my name? Why can't he call my name?

"Eiri-san." I felt a hand on my shoulder. "He'll be safe. I promise he'll be safe."

Finally from all this years I finally hope that Tohma's words were true.

He helped me stand on my feet. I look at him for a second or two then I look towards the redhead that was standing at the door.

"I love him."

I know Hiro was taken aback when I said it, so was Tohma. I just want let them know I love him, because I do. I really do.

* * *

oOoOoOoOo

"Shuichi, listen…listen please…Kazuya…he doesn't exist. It's just your imagination."

"NOOOO! You're lying! KAZUYA! KAZUYA!"

Shuichi shriek as loud as he can as I try to grab on to him but he's strong, I give him credit for that. He screams and screams until his throat hurts. He fell asleep after that and I was left here nursing a bruise on my cheek, a pain in my chest and a scratch on my arm.

I held his hand in mine. I promise myself nothing could move me from where I'm sitting.

After an hour I felt him move, signaling the awakening of my precious. I run a hand through his hair. I patiently waited for him to open his eyes.

"Shuichi." I mumble softly. He tense at the sound of my voice, I never thought that he'd react that way with me. I don't want him to be afraid of me.

"Shui…"

"Where's Kazuya?" He looks at me straight to the eyes with a very sad expression written on his beautiful face. I hate it when he's like this. You could see right through him, every bit of emotion. You could see it in his eyes; the sadness, betrayal, hurt, confusion and suddenly you yourself would be suck into his emotion enveloping you, trapping you.

"Shuichi…he's not real."

I hear him snort at my reply but I had to continue.

"He's never real. Shuichi, listen…"

"Prove it."

Shuichi look at me defiantly. Why is being like this? Why can't he believe me? Why can't he see the truth…?

"ok." I gave a loud sigh. It's better this way anyway. He must know the truth even if it hurts him.

* * *

oOoOoOoOo

"Turn left Yuki. We're already there. I'll prove to you that he's indeed true."

I followed Shuichi's direction where the hospital where Kazuya supposedly is working as a surgeon. I felt sick to think that Shuichi would be going to be heart broken in a few seconds. I don't want to see him break-down and cry.

"Stop here. That's the buil…"

Shuichi hurriedly open the car's door s I hurriedly halted the car. He runs towards the abandoned looking building with shock written all over his face. As I run towards him he fell to his knees, tears streaming on his eyes. He put his hands to cover his face, afraid that I might see him cry. 'Too late for that, Shuichi. '

I stood by his side as he continues to cry in silence. I feel the night breeze getting colder. We need to get back to the hospital before we froze to death here.

I knelt down beside him and wrap my arms around him. He didn't move, he just continued crying mutely. I snuggle to him closer and with that he too wraps his arms around me and wail. I smiled at that, now his being himself again.

"It was here. Yuki, this is where he works. There is so many people here even at this time. There are nurses…doctors…"

He talked between sobs, but I heard every single word he uttered. I didn't say anything I just let him continue. Maybe by this he would let go of all the emotion he bottled up.

"It can't be. Kazuya work here, how can this be an abandon building?"

I hug him tighter on my arms; I lean down and kiss his head. I rock our body slightly as he continues with his narrative.

"I can't be true…it's a lie! It's a lie!"

I rub his back gently as he scream. I didn't know what else to do, so I follow my instinct and gently rub his back in circular motion, he always massage me when I feel stress. Unexpectedly, it works. He calms down a bit. Everything was silent again, only the soft sound of the breeze and the gentle breathing of Shuichi and me.

"You know Yuki…I use to hang out here a lot. He would make me wait on his office then afterwards we would eat at the cafeteria…but I hate the food there."

I could feel Shuichi smile at the memories.

"…you know…we sometimes made love here, in his office, when he doesn't have a meeting or patients."

I was shock to hear that. 'Make love.'

I don't know what to think. I can't believe what I am hearing. He made love here? This is an abandon building for god sake. People may come and go; they might see him having….fuck! What if he's not alone?

I can't. I can't think anymore. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to remember him saying it.

No! It can't be.

I don't know what came over me but I feel tears streaming down my eyes. We both cried in the middle of the night in front of the abandon building where no living soul roam, only the two of us…only us.

* * *

oOoOoOoOo

It's been five months since Shuichi had been release. He went home with me and I made sure he stays that way… home with me.

I know he's not completely healed but as long as I stayed by his side I know he'll recover soon.

We have been a couple after we left the hospital. We spend each day with each other. It felt like before…before I left. He whines, I snarl. He sings, I write. I tried to make it as normal as we can be.

Whenever we get a chance we would go to a secluded place where only, I and he exist. We would cuddle all night until the morning break or make him moan until his throat hurts.

I love him. I know he knows I do.

But the problem lies if he feels the same way too.

I lay on top of him as I look straight on his eyes. I brush the fallen hair that's blocking my view of his beautiful face. He smiled at me. I smile back at him.

"Shuichi…"

He tense as I called his name, I know he knows what I am going to say…or ask. Whenever we're like this I couldn't help but ask the question. I just had to know.

"…do you still love him?"

He kept quiet like he always does whenever I ask him. He averted his gaze from me. Then and there I knew the answer.

I put my cheeks against his and snuggle closer to him as I brush my lips on his ear and whisper. "…I'm glad he's just an imagination 'coz I couldn't live knowing you had love someone more than you had love me."

I feel his tears run down his cheeks.

I could wait for him…I could wait for him to make me his only one.

I'd wait.

I promise I would.

OWARI


End file.
